News Flash - Pottersville
Shots Fired In Busy Downtown -
Last night shots rang out in the crowded downtown
shopping area. Pottersville Police report an escapee from the
local sanitarium accosted local Librarian, Mary Hatch.
“The man was crazy” said Miss Hatch.
“Imagine the nerve, insisting that I was his wife and
we had 4 kids. I felt sorry for him, it’s obvious that he
hasn’t had a
According to witnesses, Burt the Cop fired several
shots while trying to apprehend the escapee but he got away. The officer
said he did not know the man but, “By
George, he looked familiar.”
Banker Henry F. Potter
(the richest man in town) said he thinks the man was just warped
and frustrated. Ernie the Taxi Driver agreed with Mr. Potter,
“He jumped into my cab and asked me to take him to 320 Sycamore Street.
That’s the old Granville House, nobody has lived there since I was a
kid. He claimed he lives there with his wife and kids. This guy was really
off his rocker.”
Nick the Barkeeper reported the suspect was in his place with another man who acted strangely. He said “They kept talking about Angels getting their wings and something called “Zuzu’s petals” whatever that is. When I learned they didn’t have any money, I threw them out the door.”
Other witnesses reported seeing the pair at the local cemetery near the grave of young Harry Bailey, who as you recall, fell through the ice on the pond and was drown when he was only 9 years old.
Sanitarium officials said the escapee is harmless and shared a room with “Uncle” Billy, the former Building and Loan Officer. When he heard about the incident, “Uncle” Billy fainted. He later regained consciousness, and when asked if he was OK responded “I’m all right, I’m all right!”
Burt the Cop is still searching for the escapee at press time.
Brothel Raided -
Potterville Police raided a suspected brothel and the alleged Madam, Violet Bick was arrested along with several members of her clientele. Madam Bick said she “knows Potter and all the rest” and is sure the charges will not stick.
Bad News from
the Pacific -
Japanese sink transport – entire crew feared lost.
The Department of the Navy reported the sinking of a transport ship
yesterday. Rescue efforts were launched but no survivors were found.
A high-ranking officer was quoted as saying “It’s too bad
that some brave pilot wasn’t there to save them.”
Stock Soars -
Former resident, Sam Wainwright reported his plastics company has made a fortune selling plastic canopies to the military for their fighter planes. Wainwright who is currently in England, said he and his wife will soon be vacationing in Florida.
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