Saturday September 21, 1957

Sibling Rivalry To Blame For Vandal’s Rampage

When one compares the Weevil brothers, “Bo” and “Evil” It’s like comparing daylight and darkness. Although separated in age by only 2 years their entire lives have been direct opposites. “Evil” was a Straight A student, Captain of his High School and College Football and Basketball teams, is a member of the local Chamber of Commerce and a very successful banker.

 “Bo”, on the other hand, barely graduated from Purgatory High School and never gave any serious consideration to college. He has drifted from job to job after being kicked out of the Army, never holding any job more than a few months at a time and invests most of his weekly paycheck at The Iron Horse Bar.

Last night “Bo’s” years of frustration finally erupted in destruction and ended with his arrest. At his arraignment this morning before traveling Magistrate Max Sentence, “Bo” entered a guilty plea to charges that while intoxicated he cut the heads off all 3 of the city’s parking meters on Main Street, turned over both litter baskets scattering litter all over the Main Street shopping area and painted a vulgar message about a former girlfriend on the City Water Tower.

When Judge Sentence asked “Bo” what caused him to do these things, Mr. Weevil replied

 “I’m tired of my brother getting all the attention and figured this will at least cause people to talk about me for a change. I guess I’m just tired of being the Lesser of two Weevils.”

Judge Sentence was unimpressed with this explanation and promptly gave him 20 years to Life without parole. When asked about the sentence, the Judge replied “ That was all the law would allow me to give him. I really wanted to give him more. In the good old days, when my Grandfather, the late “Hanging” Chad was on the bench, we could have executed this hardened criminal.”

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